So after the initial plan of moving just the manufacturing over to the new location, we have now completely moved.

This means that I am now adjusting how things will look and work here. I am adjusting to this as this was not my plan. We were going to be sharing a space with another Vendor but he felt the space didn’t work for him with my products in it. So we decided to pull out completely. I feel betrayed and am in a bit of shock but I am getting there.

At least I am away from the daily drama and don’t have to deal with certain issues anymore. I know that I am part of the issue as I am someone who will speak my truth and sometimes I don’t have the best filter.

I am not someone who adjusts to change easily and it will take me sometime to get there. Also not someone who can understand the way people treat each other. The negativity is not what I work well in and I am a mediator type of personality so I am always trying to fix issues that are not mine to fix. I do understand where that comes from but have yet to be able to walk away from doing it.

I know I am feeling hurt and betrayed but I don’t believe that was anyone’s intention. Trying to wrap my head around this is going to really take me some time and energy to keep going.

I just have 1 more load to get from the Market then we are done.

On the home front John and I are still continuing with COPE part 2 (part 2). We are now doing every other week sessions with our Coach and we are moving to complete some of our goals.

1 Being that we are decluttering the home and making it more of a comfortable space for the both of us. I have my Mental Health Worker every other week and Home Support weekly.

I know I don’t ask for help easily and that is something I am working on. Part of the reason I don’t ask is because I can’t seem to be clear with my words as my brain is racing, and I can’t tell them what I need at that moment. The other reason is that when I finally do ask… I fail to get the help I need ( such as what just happened at the Market).

2 Finances are being openly spoken about and we are moving together on completing some of the goals we had set for that.

3 Being closer is also progressing and we are finding more enjoyable moments together. We are creating time just for us and that is working. We are as always talking to each other about our needs but the conversations are constructive now and I feel we have found a way to understand and meet each others needs and wants.

So I use these type of posts to calm my brain when I am stressing and having it written for me to later read and understand where I was mentally.

For those that are reading this please note this is for me to sort my thoughts but also for you as the reader to understand how someone like me with Depression/Anxiety Disorder as well as PTSD copes day to day.

Thank you for your kindness and support.